..human decency..

I've been thinking recently, about a lot of things. I think I'm a tad bit tired of scrolling on social media and bumping on stories/posts about people I used to know being no more. Some we outgrew each other, others we fell out, others it was just silence. That's not even the point. Seeing these posts, and watching people around me go through loss, has cemented something in my mind. Life is indeed fleeting, yet we waste it on trivialities. 

So when all is said and done, what can be said about you? What will be said about you? More than that, when you do meet your maker, what will He say about you? Far beyond that, even now as you're still here, when you look, really look at yourself, really go inward - what can you say about you? 

I think most of us get lost in the haze of life that we forget basic human decency. It is sad that as more time passes, humanity erodes. We're slowly but surely losing the fabric of what makes us human. 

I scroll on social media and come across posts talking about how being a good person doesn't pay. How kindness is apparently a weakness. How it is better not to show kindness because it will get you used etc etc. I'm sure you have come across such posts. Worse even, we have weaponized goodness and kindness - I mean only be good when it serves a purpose, or if it will get you something. 

I sit down and think about the number of times I've experienced people being mean or unkind to me simply because I won't react. Because I'm not like my sister or mother who will literally fight you (I promise you my little sister beats boys and I'm proud of her), but I'm not them. I wouldn't harm a fly and heck I see the positive side of people - but hey, apparently that's risky business. 

So, what's basic human decency? The minimum standard of how you should treat people by the simple fact that they are human. It is being kind, being honest, being respectful, being empathetic, apologizing and holding yourself accountable, being fair, considering others. These are basic bare minimums of being a person. Yet, we treat them as miracles when someone does them. We glorify them as saintly acts. Why? Is it that we are rotten to the core that we scoff when someone does such simple things? Have we normalized cruelty, dehumanization and inhumanity that we see such acts as wild things? (Don't even get me started on the world issues - I will not talk about that right now or today.)

I was talking to a friend about a choice I made and they told me outrightly, Pat mami, you're a better person than me and that will be the death of you. I was left wondering what was so wrong with weighing things and viewing someone as a human with flaws and choosing to be a better person everything considered. I still am. 

I'm tired. Tired of how we make it seem wrong, or like it's a mistake to genuinely be a decent person. I won't even claim to be a good person, but I know I'm a decent person. I know when I look at myself - I do have issues with the person I see, but not because she is a horrible human being. I know I can sleep with myself, with the person I am, because I am a decent person. 

Decency shouldn't come at a cost, or with conditions. You're not a decent or good person because someone needs it, or because one day you'll need someone to be good. You just are. It's a choice to be a decent person simply because as humans we were never meant to be vile creatures. 

And even if that decency costs me or gets me hurt - then that shouldn't matter. Do I see the good in people? Always. Has that left me vulnerable and even gullible at times? Severally. Would I change it? Well, I tried and failed. Now, I wouldn't. I realize decency is a choice, a continuous choice every single moment. So I choose that. 

Maybe that in itself is a problem. Maybe that in itself is a burden. And maybe that's my cross to bear. Either way, I hope more people stay decent. Let's un-normalize unkindness, dishonesty, cruelty, indifference, manipulation, exploitation and irresponsibility. Etc. Etc.